EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
Thanks to my friend Migs for sending me this!
Sunday, 17 June 2007
Friday, 15 June 2007
Update #2
To continue.....
The other thing that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (that is, late March) was that I'd started a new job. As of this coming Tuesday, the 19th, I will have been there for three months, and boy has the time flown!
I work for a company based in Fordingbridge, Hampshire, called Corintech Ltd. They are an electronics company, mainly dealing with microchips and printed circuit boards. My role there is - to many - quite dull and uninteresting, but I'm reasonably content. I'm an accounts and HR administrator, and it's a varied and interesting job. I mostly help with the purchase ledger (that is to say, the invoices and stuff to do with whatever we buy, rather than what we sell) and the payroll. I also deal with all the paperwork to do with contracts, recruitment, training and some of the not-so-nice aspects of human resources.
So there you have it. That's what I do for a day job.
Evening wise, I'm currently working on a stitch-a-long with Willow Crafts forum. I'm terribly behind on it though - we're doing a series of small stitched pieces based around the months of the year. Everyone else is either in the middle of, or has finished June's piece. Me? I've just started March's! Oh dear.....
I've also got to do a birth sampler for a friend. Her youngest son turned one this week, and will be having his christening in October. I've got as far as washing and ironing the fabric, marking it out to find the centre, stitching it onto the frame, photocopying the chart, and sorting the threads I need. Now I just need an extra day in the week so I can commence stitching it. I just want to get a little bit caught up with the SAL first..... ho hum. Place your bets now on whether or not I get it finished in time!
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day, as we're taking our oldest dog (Mugsy) to the vets for a check up. He's 15 and a half now (we're talking halves! Ulp!) and sadly is physically going downhill. He's a bit deaf (possibly selective only), eyesight is not as good as it was, he has weak back legs (drags his feet, literally not figuratively), is suffering from occasional incontinence and has almost permanent diarrhoea. That is not to say that he walks around pooping non-stop. It's just that when he does poop it's not a pleasant experience for all concerned, including him (remember the weak back legs? Can't stand for too long in one position either!), and we've tried all sorts of remedies. Bio yoghurt (vet's idea), rice, chicken, egg, no food for 24 hours, different food. To no avail. Occasionally we've got up in the morning to discover that he's wee'd or pooped in his sleep - and is still laying in it sound-O, not even aware of what he's done! It's getting to the point now where we've had enough, and I think he has too. Mind you, having said that, the front half of him seems to be doing fine. The other day, someone even asked me if he was the youngest of our three dogs! Personally I think they need their eyes checked! Sadly though we have to make a decision on how long to continue this tacit torment of him - and the decision needed is whether or not to put him down. We don't want to, so we're hoping and praying that the vet will have some other suggestions, or failing that some antibiotics, that will help. Hopefully I might get on here tomorrow some time to update you on how it goes.
Update!
The vet has agreed that Mugsy will probably not last long, but until that point we have been provided with enough pills and potions to either chemically preserve him, or hasten his end. I suspect the vet believes they will do the former, but who knows. So, mate, you have a month.....
The other thing that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (that is, late March) was that I'd started a new job. As of this coming Tuesday, the 19th, I will have been there for three months, and boy has the time flown!
I work for a company based in Fordingbridge, Hampshire, called Corintech Ltd. They are an electronics company, mainly dealing with microchips and printed circuit boards. My role there is - to many - quite dull and uninteresting, but I'm reasonably content. I'm an accounts and HR administrator, and it's a varied and interesting job. I mostly help with the purchase ledger (that is to say, the invoices and stuff to do with whatever we buy, rather than what we sell) and the payroll. I also deal with all the paperwork to do with contracts, recruitment, training and some of the not-so-nice aspects of human resources.
So there you have it. That's what I do for a day job.
Evening wise, I'm currently working on a stitch-a-long with Willow Crafts forum. I'm terribly behind on it though - we're doing a series of small stitched pieces based around the months of the year. Everyone else is either in the middle of, or has finished June's piece. Me? I've just started March's! Oh dear.....
I've also got to do a birth sampler for a friend. Her youngest son turned one this week, and will be having his christening in October. I've got as far as washing and ironing the fabric, marking it out to find the centre, stitching it onto the frame, photocopying the chart, and sorting the threads I need. Now I just need an extra day in the week so I can commence stitching it. I just want to get a little bit caught up with the SAL first..... ho hum. Place your bets now on whether or not I get it finished in time!
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day, as we're taking our oldest dog (Mugsy) to the vets for a check up. He's 15 and a half now (we're talking halves! Ulp!) and sadly is physically going downhill. He's a bit deaf (possibly selective only), eyesight is not as good as it was, he has weak back legs (drags his feet, literally not figuratively), is suffering from occasional incontinence and has almost permanent diarrhoea. That is not to say that he walks around pooping non-stop. It's just that when he does poop it's not a pleasant experience for all concerned, including him (remember the weak back legs? Can't stand for too long in one position either!), and we've tried all sorts of remedies. Bio yoghurt (vet's idea), rice, chicken, egg, no food for 24 hours, different food. To no avail. Occasionally we've got up in the morning to discover that he's wee'd or pooped in his sleep - and is still laying in it sound-O, not even aware of what he's done! It's getting to the point now where we've had enough, and I think he has too. Mind you, having said that, the front half of him seems to be doing fine. The other day, someone even asked me if he was the youngest of our three dogs! Personally I think they need their eyes checked! Sadly though we have to make a decision on how long to continue this tacit torment of him - and the decision needed is whether or not to put him down. We don't want to, so we're hoping and praying that the vet will have some other suggestions, or failing that some antibiotics, that will help. Hopefully I might get on here tomorrow some time to update you on how it goes.
Update!
The vet has agreed that Mugsy will probably not last long, but until that point we have been provided with enough pills and potions to either chemically preserve him, or hasten his end. I suspect the vet believes they will do the former, but who knows. So, mate, you have a month.....
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Update #1
AS promised, I shall now commence updating you on everything that has so far come to pass.
Or in English, let's catch up, eh?
First and foremost, I want you to cast you mind back to February 19th. Or rather, scroll down and re-read the post I made that day!
I never did get around to putting on here the pictures of the ATC's I got in return. Here they are......
At the moment, as they're not directly in front of me, I can't recall exactly who's they are. But a big thank you to the folks involved in that swap - I love them!
I've also been involved in another Inchie swap, this time on Aunty's Forum, and though it wasn't as many, it was still a bit of a challenge. The idea was to make 5 inchies, and send them on to someone. In return, you got 5 inchies from a third party.
Here's my offering....
Yes, I know there are 6! I made an extra one, so I could pick which I thought were the 5 best. They were made on 140lb watercolour paper, using Daler Rowney inks in blue and aqua for the background, stamped in Memories ink Cobalt Blue, then versamarked (once dry) and embossed with an iridescent EP. I then added fibres in matching tones to one corner.
In return I got....
I think they're lovely, and they make a great set. Thanks Jaine!
Or in English, let's catch up, eh?
First and foremost, I want you to cast you mind back to February 19th. Or rather, scroll down and re-read the post I made that day!
I never did get around to putting on here the pictures of the ATC's I got in return. Here they are......
At the moment, as they're not directly in front of me, I can't recall exactly who's they are. But a big thank you to the folks involved in that swap - I love them!
I've also been involved in another Inchie swap, this time on Aunty's Forum, and though it wasn't as many, it was still a bit of a challenge. The idea was to make 5 inchies, and send them on to someone. In return, you got 5 inchies from a third party.
Here's my offering....
Yes, I know there are 6! I made an extra one, so I could pick which I thought were the 5 best. They were made on 140lb watercolour paper, using Daler Rowney inks in blue and aqua for the background, stamped in Memories ink Cobalt Blue, then versamarked (once dry) and embossed with an iridescent EP. I then added fibres in matching tones to one corner.
In return I got....
I think they're lovely, and they make a great set. Thanks Jaine!
Thursday, 31 May 2007
Ok, a teaser.....
OK, I couldn't wait. I thought I'd share this with you. A wee taster, so to speak, of what is to come. I wrote this for Wolfshead Bowmen's newsletter "Arrowmail", which will be out in a month's time.
“The Noble Art of Flag Making”
Or
“Ow, dat’s my finger!”
By Howling Mad Morti
1. Insanity is a requirement, however brief it lasts.
2. In a moment of insanity, barter with, or promise, another individual (Flaggee) that you will make them a Flag.
3. Decide on the most intricate design possible, or better yet, get Flaggee to nominate the most intricate design possible.
4. Calculate the length of time it will take to make The Flag, and make this promise to Flaggee well in advance of the date that The Flag is required, ensuring it is at an event.
5. Over the course of the following weeks, continue to promise to the Flaggee that The Flag is in hand.
6. Three weeks before The Flag is required, suddenly realise that the deadline for commencement of work was a month ago.
7. Race around the shops searching for exactly the correct shade of material to make The Flag.
8. Get home, unpack equipment & supplies, and then realise that you haven’t bought enough sewing cotton. Do no work on The Flag, as you convince yourself that it would be stupid to start work and then run out of thread.
9. Two days later, go and buy more sewing cotton.
10. Spend three days searching the internet for elements of the most intricate design possible.
11. Finally decide on the most intricate element for the most intricate design possible, create a stencil, and start cutting out the fabric.
12. Realise halfway through cutting out the first element that they take three times as long to cut as you had planned for. Groan at prospect of cutting a further 7 out…
13. One week later, finish cutting out all 8 elements.
14. The next night, cut out flag panels to commence stitching the elements onto. Commence stitching the elements onto their panels.
15. Realise halfway through machine stitching the first element to its panel that they take three times as long to stitch as you had planned for. Groan at prospect of stitching a further 7…
16. Decide to speed things up by using appliqué glue to hold the elements in place, rather than pins. Spend four hours peeling the elements off the paper they were laid on as you applied glue. Adhere the elements to their panels. Continue stitching the first element.
17. Re-thread machine after thread breaks three times, catch your finger on the needle a further four times, and remove glue that you used to adhere the element to The Flag from the needle half a dozen times, before completing the stitching of the element. Go and blubber in a corner for ten minutes.
18. Spend half your time stitching with no light, as the vibration of the sewing machine loosens the lightbulb within, but it’s too hot to tighten up again immediately. Promise husband when he rings from work on nightshift, that you are going to bed now – then after call, stay up a further hour. Go and blubber in a corner for a further ten minutes.
19. Continue to promise to Flaggee that The Flag will be ready in time.
20. Over the course of the next 7 days, repeat steps 17 and 18 until all 8 elements are stitched to their panels.
21. Three days before The Flag is due to be handed over to the Flaggee, commence stitching the panels together.
22. On completion of the first side of The Flag, realise that you have stitched the panels together in the wrong order, unpick, and re-stitch.
23. Two days before The Flag is due to be handed over to the Flaggee, stitch the second side of The Flag together (without incident) and stitch both sides together (also without incident). Stay up an extra hour to ensure all the tabs are stitched on the top and side. Only manage to complete half the tabs. Stay up a further hour to pack for the event at which you are due to hand The Flag over.
24. The night before The Flag is due to be handed over to the Flaggee, stay up an extra two hours to finish making the tabs and stitching them to The Flag. Cut loose cottons off, press lightly. Stay up another hour to finish packing for the event at which you are due to hand The Flag over.
25. Collapse in a corner, muttering quietly to yourself, and dribbling in an insane manner.
26. After half an hour, go to bed for about 4 hours.
27. The day of handover – pass The Flag over to The Flaggee with great reverence, and hope they don’t notice the blood (from where you snagged your finger on the needle). Accept praise for your hard work (wiping dribble away from mouth with sleeve) and solemnly promise yourself never to make the most intricate design of Flag possible, ever again.
28. After a year has passed, repeat steps 1 to 28………
They don’t make Flag a four-letter word for nothing……..
“The Noble Art of Flag Making”
Or
“Ow, dat’s my finger!”
By Howling Mad Morti
1. Insanity is a requirement, however brief it lasts.
2. In a moment of insanity, barter with, or promise, another individual (Flaggee) that you will make them a Flag.
3. Decide on the most intricate design possible, or better yet, get Flaggee to nominate the most intricate design possible.
4. Calculate the length of time it will take to make The Flag, and make this promise to Flaggee well in advance of the date that The Flag is required, ensuring it is at an event.
5. Over the course of the following weeks, continue to promise to the Flaggee that The Flag is in hand.
6. Three weeks before The Flag is required, suddenly realise that the deadline for commencement of work was a month ago.
7. Race around the shops searching for exactly the correct shade of material to make The Flag.
8. Get home, unpack equipment & supplies, and then realise that you haven’t bought enough sewing cotton. Do no work on The Flag, as you convince yourself that it would be stupid to start work and then run out of thread.
9. Two days later, go and buy more sewing cotton.
10. Spend three days searching the internet for elements of the most intricate design possible.
11. Finally decide on the most intricate element for the most intricate design possible, create a stencil, and start cutting out the fabric.
12. Realise halfway through cutting out the first element that they take three times as long to cut as you had planned for. Groan at prospect of cutting a further 7 out…
13. One week later, finish cutting out all 8 elements.
14. The next night, cut out flag panels to commence stitching the elements onto. Commence stitching the elements onto their panels.
15. Realise halfway through machine stitching the first element to its panel that they take three times as long to stitch as you had planned for. Groan at prospect of stitching a further 7…
16. Decide to speed things up by using appliqué glue to hold the elements in place, rather than pins. Spend four hours peeling the elements off the paper they were laid on as you applied glue. Adhere the elements to their panels. Continue stitching the first element.
17. Re-thread machine after thread breaks three times, catch your finger on the needle a further four times, and remove glue that you used to adhere the element to The Flag from the needle half a dozen times, before completing the stitching of the element. Go and blubber in a corner for ten minutes.
18. Spend half your time stitching with no light, as the vibration of the sewing machine loosens the lightbulb within, but it’s too hot to tighten up again immediately. Promise husband when he rings from work on nightshift, that you are going to bed now – then after call, stay up a further hour. Go and blubber in a corner for a further ten minutes.
19. Continue to promise to Flaggee that The Flag will be ready in time.
20. Over the course of the next 7 days, repeat steps 17 and 18 until all 8 elements are stitched to their panels.
21. Three days before The Flag is due to be handed over to the Flaggee, commence stitching the panels together.
22. On completion of the first side of The Flag, realise that you have stitched the panels together in the wrong order, unpick, and re-stitch.
23. Two days before The Flag is due to be handed over to the Flaggee, stitch the second side of The Flag together (without incident) and stitch both sides together (also without incident). Stay up an extra hour to ensure all the tabs are stitched on the top and side. Only manage to complete half the tabs. Stay up a further hour to pack for the event at which you are due to hand The Flag over.
24. The night before The Flag is due to be handed over to the Flaggee, stay up an extra two hours to finish making the tabs and stitching them to The Flag. Cut loose cottons off, press lightly. Stay up another hour to finish packing for the event at which you are due to hand The Flag over.
25. Collapse in a corner, muttering quietly to yourself, and dribbling in an insane manner.
26. After half an hour, go to bed for about 4 hours.
27. The day of handover – pass The Flag over to The Flaggee with great reverence, and hope they don’t notice the blood (from where you snagged your finger on the needle). Accept praise for your hard work (wiping dribble away from mouth with sleeve) and solemnly promise yourself never to make the most intricate design of Flag possible, ever again.
28. After a year has passed, repeat steps 1 to 28………
They don’t make Flag a four-letter word for nothing……..
Oh my......
Oops indeedy.
Two whole months between posts?
I beg and crave your humble forgiveness, oh devoted reader!
So, give me a day or two, and I'll get back in here and update you on all that has happened since I last blogged. Might take me a while to get it all on here!
TTFN!
Two whole months between posts?
I beg and crave your humble forgiveness, oh devoted reader!
So, give me a day or two, and I'll get back in here and update you on all that has happened since I last blogged. Might take me a while to get it all on here!
TTFN!
Friday, 30 March 2007
Inchies!
I've recently completed a set of Inchies for the UKStampers forum swap. I did actually make 26, but failed to take a photo of the whole lot together. You'll have to make do with a photo of 25 of them for now - thanks Sid! - the 26th one is being sent off with all the others for publishing in a magazine.
Otherwise I've been spending a fair bit of time stitching a couple of other projects, and working in my new job. More on that when I have the energy to expand on that topic!
Otherwise I've been spending a fair bit of time stitching a couple of other projects, and working in my new job. More on that when I have the energy to expand on that topic!
Sunday, 18 March 2007
Apologies for absence!
Oh dear - I have rather left it a long time between posts, haven't I? That's not to say I've not been busy, either. Just that my computing Mojo upped and left the building.
Well, for starters, I've been working. My first full time office-based job in nearly 4 years. It's taken a bit of getting used to - going back out to work, but the money is very welcome. The hardest battle has been with tiredness, but I'm starting to conquer that. The other battle is that it's left me with very little inclination to spend time on the computer in the evening, as I'm staring at a computer screen all day. Again, we'll conquer that too!
Crafting wise, I've not done much either. I'm working on a stitch-a-long (referred to as SAL from here after) with a group of buddies from the CUTW forum. I've also done this....
for the March Topper Swap on Aunty's Forum. The recipient - Jaine - absolutely adores it, which is the most important bit of all! The funny thing was, I was totally stumped for what to do, so I left it, and left it. And one day last week thought - "Right, 5 minutes, lets see what we come up with". I rummaged through my stash, and found the stamped image of the girl, already done on sable coloured card in a russet brown. Next I found the writing background paper, and the key, and the whole thing just gelled. A square of cream card, a square of dark-brown card, four square antiqued brads and some brown and black ink later - voila! A quick topper that just fell into place. The reason Jaine loves it so is because she adores Earth tones - I didn't know this till I saw her post on the forum gallery along with the picture of the topper. Happy co-incidence!
I've also received my ATCs from the swap I made the ones shown on here for - I'll try and photograph them tonight to include.
Something else I made a couple of weeks ago, but haven't put up yet, is this....
It was part of the Five Swap on Aunty's Forum. I was sent some baby stickers, blue stars, blue "baby" organza ribbon, puffy shapes and a couple of slide mounts. In addition I used a book-card I'd made, a Hero Arts swirl rubber stamp, blue ink, white organza ribbon and some silver EP. I love it - now I'm waiting for someone to have a baby boy so I can send it!
Well, for starters, I've been working. My first full time office-based job in nearly 4 years. It's taken a bit of getting used to - going back out to work, but the money is very welcome. The hardest battle has been with tiredness, but I'm starting to conquer that. The other battle is that it's left me with very little inclination to spend time on the computer in the evening, as I'm staring at a computer screen all day. Again, we'll conquer that too!
Crafting wise, I've not done much either. I'm working on a stitch-a-long (referred to as SAL from here after) with a group of buddies from the CUTW forum. I've also done this....
for the March Topper Swap on Aunty's Forum. The recipient - Jaine - absolutely adores it, which is the most important bit of all! The funny thing was, I was totally stumped for what to do, so I left it, and left it. And one day last week thought - "Right, 5 minutes, lets see what we come up with". I rummaged through my stash, and found the stamped image of the girl, already done on sable coloured card in a russet brown. Next I found the writing background paper, and the key, and the whole thing just gelled. A square of cream card, a square of dark-brown card, four square antiqued brads and some brown and black ink later - voila! A quick topper that just fell into place. The reason Jaine loves it so is because she adores Earth tones - I didn't know this till I saw her post on the forum gallery along with the picture of the topper. Happy co-incidence!
I've also received my ATCs from the swap I made the ones shown on here for - I'll try and photograph them tonight to include.
Something else I made a couple of weeks ago, but haven't put up yet, is this....
It was part of the Five Swap on Aunty's Forum. I was sent some baby stickers, blue stars, blue "baby" organza ribbon, puffy shapes and a couple of slide mounts. In addition I used a book-card I'd made, a Hero Arts swirl rubber stamp, blue ink, white organza ribbon and some silver EP. I love it - now I'm waiting for someone to have a baby boy so I can send it!
Sunday, 25 February 2007
Been crafting some more
As promised, here's the picture of the cross-stitch I've done for Mum. It's called "Mai" and it's from Dimensions Gold Collection - Petites range of cross-stitch kits. Mum is a big fan of all things Oriental - I hope she likes this for Mother's Day!
Next, a card I made for the March 2007 Card Challenge on Aunty's Forum.... It's a pale blue card stock, with stripy vellum overlaid with pearlescent blue card. On top of that are four squares of gold pearlescent card, and four eggs from a Jolee's Easter pack. Topped off with peel-offs....
Next, a card I made for the March 2007 Card Challenge on Aunty's Forum.... It's a pale blue card stock, with stripy vellum overlaid with pearlescent blue card. On top of that are four squares of gold pearlescent card, and four eggs from a Jolee's Easter pack. Topped off with peel-offs....
Monday, 19 February 2007
ATCs
Hurrah!
Managed to get some crafting done recently, and here's the photos to prove it.
On UKStampers, I'm taking part in an ATC swap - so if you've come here from there, and are also in the swap, it's probably a bit late to tell you there are spoilers here! Sorry.....
Anyway..
The theme of the swap was three fold, Green, Men, and Numbers. I chose to do one ATC of each. First up is:
GREEN
Well, obviously it's green, but the Celtic symbol for me represents Ireland, and of course land of "The wearing o' the green". "Sacred", because, well, symbols are sacred. This has an extra meaning for me, because this is the stamp I used (from Blade Rubber) to create my wedding stationery. ETA - the embossing powder I used is from the Moon Glow collections - Tannenbaum Green-Gold. So, one way you look at it, it's green, the other way, gold. Cool!
Next:
Mens
Stamp is from The Stamp Man, using Memories brown ink, and ColorBox Chalk pads. Did ya notice the knot on the keys? A man's tie knot....
Finally - and my favourite...
Numbers
This kind of happened accidentally. I was looking for numbers stamps amongst my collection, and found a freebie one I got with Simply Stamping. Not being a huge stamp, I used it to decorate the top left and bottom right corners. This left two great spots for images from Paper Artsy (and they're two different stamps in those corners). So, very simply just a piece of white card, three stamps, and some black stazon. Nothing fancy. But it just has that "wow" factor.....
See you again soon!
Managed to get some crafting done recently, and here's the photos to prove it.
On UKStampers, I'm taking part in an ATC swap - so if you've come here from there, and are also in the swap, it's probably a bit late to tell you there are spoilers here! Sorry.....
Anyway..
The theme of the swap was three fold, Green, Men, and Numbers. I chose to do one ATC of each. First up is:
GREEN
Well, obviously it's green, but the Celtic symbol for me represents Ireland, and of course land of "The wearing o' the green". "Sacred", because, well, symbols are sacred. This has an extra meaning for me, because this is the stamp I used (from Blade Rubber) to create my wedding stationery. ETA - the embossing powder I used is from the Moon Glow collections - Tannenbaum Green-Gold. So, one way you look at it, it's green, the other way, gold. Cool!
Next:
Mens
Stamp is from The Stamp Man, using Memories brown ink, and ColorBox Chalk pads. Did ya notice the knot on the keys? A man's tie knot....
Finally - and my favourite...
Numbers
This kind of happened accidentally. I was looking for numbers stamps amongst my collection, and found a freebie one I got with Simply Stamping. Not being a huge stamp, I used it to decorate the top left and bottom right corners. This left two great spots for images from Paper Artsy (and they're two different stamps in those corners). So, very simply just a piece of white card, three stamps, and some black stazon. Nothing fancy. But it just has that "wow" factor.....
See you again soon!
Friday, 16 February 2007
More Pet humour
And I really do promise to post something more interesting soon.....
How to Give A Cat A Pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to Give A Dog A Pill . . .
1) Wrap it in bacon
How to Give A Cat A Pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to Give A Dog A Pill . . .
1) Wrap it in bacon
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