Sunday, 25 February 2007

Been crafting some more

As promised, here's the picture of the cross-stitch I've done for Mum. It's called "Mai" and it's from Dimensions Gold Collection - Petites range of cross-stitch kits. Mum is a big fan of all things Oriental - I hope she likes this for Mother's Day!




Next, a card I made for the March 2007 Card Challenge on Aunty's Forum.... It's a pale blue card stock, with stripy vellum overlaid with pearlescent blue card. On top of that are four squares of gold pearlescent card, and four eggs from a Jolee's Easter pack. Topped off with peel-offs....

Monday, 19 February 2007

ATCs

Hurrah!

Managed to get some crafting done recently, and here's the photos to prove it.

On UKStampers, I'm taking part in an ATC swap - so if you've come here from there, and are also in the swap, it's probably a bit late to tell you there are spoilers here! Sorry.....

Anyway..

The theme of the swap was three fold, Green, Men, and Numbers. I chose to do one ATC of each. First up is:

GREEN



Well, obviously it's green, but the Celtic symbol for me represents Ireland, and of course land of "The wearing o' the green". "Sacred", because, well, symbols are sacred. This has an extra meaning for me, because this is the stamp I used (from Blade Rubber) to create my wedding stationery. ETA - the embossing powder I used is from the Moon Glow collections - Tannenbaum Green-Gold. So, one way you look at it, it's green, the other way, gold. Cool!

Next:

Mens



Stamp is from The Stamp Man, using Memories brown ink, and ColorBox Chalk pads. Did ya notice the knot on the keys? A man's tie knot....

Finally - and my favourite...

Numbers



This kind of happened accidentally. I was looking for numbers stamps amongst my collection, and found a freebie one I got with Simply Stamping. Not being a huge stamp, I used it to decorate the top left and bottom right corners. This left two great spots for images from Paper Artsy (and they're two different stamps in those corners). So, very simply just a piece of white card, three stamps, and some black stazon. Nothing fancy. But it just has that "wow" factor.....

See you again soon!

Friday, 16 February 2007

More Pet humour

And I really do promise to post something more interesting soon.....

How to Give A Cat A Pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to Give A Dog A Pill . . .
1) Wrap it in bacon

Friday, 9 February 2007

No Snow!

Well, as I've not posted for a few days, I figured I ought to stick something in here to keep my faithful few readers amused (lest they disappear entirely).

So, what news?

Whilst the rest of the country has been frolicking in 6 inches or so of snow, down here in the depths of Dorset we've had rain. It started yesterday morning, then stopped almost immediately (or so it seemed) and we had a day of blue skies and sunshine. Today has been a day of absolute miserableness (is there such a word?) with overcast skies and pouring rain. So miserable in fact, that I didn't even walk the dogs tonight. Pretty much unheard of round here, and the dogs are playing up even as I type this, wondering what's going on as there's been such a major break to their routine. Bless 'em.

On the crafting front, not a lot has happened. I did manage to get the latest CJ in my possession done and posted on, but as we're not sharing what we've done - to keep the end results a surprise - I won't post a picture up here yet. I have managed to get a little bit of stitching done on the piece I started for Mum last year. I really should have finished it by now. In fact, it was supposed to have been finished for her birthday last July. Then it was supposed to have been finished for Christmas. If she's really lucky, she may get it for Mother's Day instead. I can't even say that it's because it's such a big piece, because it's not! It is a little complicated though, but I'm actually almost finished and just have some backstitching to finish off. And then frame it. And then start another one for MIL. Watch this space for a photo when I get it finished.

The really nosey folks amongst you will have looked at my profile and spotted something about me doing Medieval Re-enactment. You may even have clicked the link over there to the right to "Wolfshead Bowmen" which is the society I belong to. Things are hotting up over there events wise this year, and we've just heard that the big Carew 500 event this year will also play host to the Mediaeval Baebes on the Saturday night. Tickets haven't been released yet, but already DH is nagging me to get them. I think he just likes the girls....rofl....whereas I'm more into the music. Should be interesting - last time we saw them was about 4 years ago at the Y theatre in Leicester, and just as they started one song the fire alarms went off and we all had to evacuate. Cue cute firemen.

I've been remiss in sending out birthday cards, lately, so Happy Birthdays should go out to Robin, Miranda, Bailey and Martin. Plus anyone else I've forgotten/don't know about.

What do you think of my new Avatar? I got it from www.meez.com and I think it's fab. If you decide to get one, list me as a referral (they know me as MadMorti) and I'll get some virtual coinz to spend on a better frock! Ha!

What's up for the next few days? Well, we're off to Dorchester tomorrow to have a nose around. DH wants to go and see Hannibal Rising - and I'm doing my best to dissuade him. I'd like to see it too, but looking at the reviews I'm loath to waste my money. Better to watch it on Sky Box Office in a few months! We didn't get to see The Da Vinci Code when it came out (we were in France, and there aren't many films shown there in VO, or "Version Originale"), and that's currently showing on SBO, so I may yet win.

Sending a wave to Skippie and her hat.....

Monday, 5 February 2007

which then led me onto this.....

I found this on MJs blog today, and thought I'd post it onto mine (complete with where she found it, so I'm not owning up to this being mine or anything!!) as I found it hysterical. Being the owner of 3 VERY large dogs (OK, ONE VLD and two mediums...) and previously having had cats.....

Dogs and Cats

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

This fabulous piece was copied from the great No Place Like Home Altered Art Forum, which is a fantastic site full of useful info and really friendly people. http://www.topfreeforum.com/noplacelikehome/index.php?mforum=noplacelikehome

Friday, 2 February 2007

Found this today....

.... and it's SO me! Well, there are a couple of eensy weensy issues with it, like I'm not neurotic at all....!!!!

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

France Update....

I've just realised that I haven't updated my blog on the house sale, so here goes....

We had a good time, last weekend, staying with our friends Gay & Dave in their gorgeous house which is only 5 minutes drive from our old place. The ferry crossing over was awful - not because of rough seas but because we had sleeper seats and neglected to take on board any blankets or pillows. Nick didn't think we would need them, as ferries tend to be quite hot. They are, but not at 4am! Add to that the fact that we were sleeping (!) near the refreshments area in the sleeper lounge, and every half hour the refrigerators kicked in.... and the lights weren't dimmed enough.....

Anyway, I digress. On the Monday we sorted out a few bits and pieces, did a little shopping, picked up the last of our junk, I mean belongings, and went to the Estate Agent to sign the Compromis de Vente. The buyers had signed their part of it on the 18th January, so it was backdated to then. As there is a 7 day cooling off period, this means that there is no way they can back out now without losing their 10% deposit on the property (hmm, and also means WE can't back out without owing the same amount to them....!) so it's now all systems go and the various land searches are probably under way even as I type this.

Suffice it to say that the bubbly was flowing aplenty when we got back to our friends' house that night!

PS. I should add at this point that in France there are two contracts to sign. The Compromis de Vente is the first one, where the offer is accepted formally. As I said above, there is a cooling off period etc etc, and the buyers hand over a cheque to the Estate Agent for 10% of the purchase price which is held until the Acte is signed. Once all the land searches and "stuff" are sorted out (too boring to explain here), you then go to a Notaire (solicitor) and sign the "Acte de Vente" which is the final contract of sale and the keys get handed over with money going the other way. It can be a long winded process, particularly if any specific clauses are put in the Compromis - for example, you can stipulate that you will only purchase the property if it is possible to planning permission for something, so the time delay between Compromis and Acte is usually a minimum of 2 months, and can be anything up to 2 years (or more maybe!). It is usual, however, to stipulate a "no later than" date - we have the 18th April as our "no later than" date....

Thursday, 1 February 2007

Daring Cardmakers - Heavy Metal

I seem to be on a bit of a roll.... here's last week's challenge! I might even get tomorrow's one done a bit sooner (plus the current midweek Extra challenge, but don't hold your breath!).

"This weeks dare is entitled:
HEAVY METAL
..no I don't mean rock music! I would like you to make a card on any theme you like with the rule that it must include something metalic...thats all!You could use wire, charms, foil or even metallic pens. "

Daring Cardmakers - Midweek Extra.....

So, I finally got around to doing this one......

"We have a recipe for you this time; your challenge is to make a card using the following ingredients:
7 brads or eyelets
6 flowers
5 letters"

Hope you like it!

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